Nothing at All

Your life is never going to be what you want it to be, things are never going to turn out the way they should, and I understand that. My problem isn't that things aren't going my way, it's that things aren't going at all. I have no direction; no purpose. Everything I do fails. Every plan I have falls through. I have absolutely nothing going for me. I have no one and nothing. Life is bland and bleak. I just want something. It's a need really. I need something to do; some sort of plan or purpose or meaning to add to my life. I'm in a rut. I just spend each day like the day before with nothing ever changing. Don't take this in a petty way, but I kinda want a person. I want a person to share my life with. I have tried. I mean, in a way. I don't really like a lot of people, and a lot of people don't really like me. However, when that random happenstance occurs and I like someone who likes me in return, it always ends horribly and awfully and with me crying. Even without a person though, you'd think I'd have something. Maybe a hobby or a job or something to give me a purpose. Nothing. I have nothing. It makes me want to just stop living. I could die. It would be okay. People die all the time, and you what happens after someone dies? Everyone else just moves on. It would be okay. I wouldn't be missed for very long.